I promised myself that when I passed the bar exam, I would buy a myself a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes.
It took seven years to make good on that promise.
I started my journey to become a lawyer in 2012 through the rule 6 Law Clerk Program. My days began with my regular 9 to 5 as a paralegal then continue into the evening hours studying the law. I was eager to learn and full of passion and drive.
Almost two years into the program, I was on my way to achieving my goal of completing my program within four years. I could feel the 100 mm black leather pigalle pumps on my feet. In December of 2013, my fiance and I found out we were expecting a baby around my birthday the following August–two Leos in one household, YIKES! I didn’t know how this new baby would impact my progress but I had an inclination that all aspects of my life were about to change dramatically. Boy, was I right.
After having my first child, I can’t count the times I wanted to give up. At one point, I actually tried to convince myself that I would be satisfied working as a paralegal for the rest of my career. I knew deep down I was lying to myself. So, I dug deeper, stayed up later, continued to apply myself both in my career. I was making progress until 2016 when my husband and I welcomed another baby into the world. I struggled with the guilt of my multiple roles. The pressure became so great that for a brief time, I thought this journey I started four years prior was going to end prematurely. I was constantly having to talk myself out of throwing in the towel.
I was pleasantly surprised upon my return from maternity leave with my second that I had qualified to obtain a license to practice law at a limited capacity. I could go to court and argue for clients under the supervision of an attorney from our firm. This was just the boost I needed.
Despite life’s attempts to change my trajectory, I continued to pursue my dreams. So many things happened that I could have just thrown my hands up and walked away but I didnt. The most significant being the tragic loss of my kids’ caretaker. She was a significant role in the operation of our family and her loss is still felt among myself and my children.
I made a conscious choice every day to keep going. I continued to learn and fall more in love with the law every day. I still felt tinges of guilt here and there but nothing like I did before. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I had my last meeting with the Bar Association in November of 2017. At that point, I was five years into my program with a few months left to go. Following the meeting, my dad took me to Nordstrom told me to buy myself an outfit as a way to celebrate the near end of my five year journey. During that shopping trip, I received a gentle reminder of the promise I made myself in 2012 in the form of a Christian Louboutin shoe display.
It took me a few months short of six years to obtain my certificate of completion. It would be another year to get passed the beast that is the bar exam and finally in April of 2019, I got my first pair of Louboutins.
If you’ve read thus far and you’re wondering why I’m sharing my journey to owning a pair of shoes. It’s because I want you to know that there will never be a right time to chose to do something for yourself. Setbacks will happen but you can’t let them deter you from achieving your goals and ambitions. Whatever journey you are on, I encourage you to keep going. If you a struggling with a reason, I have one: the world needs you at full potential. I am of the mindset that trying and coming up short is far better than not trying at all.
Start on your journey with the mentality that in the pursuance of greatness, you will face opposition. So go for it, take the first step towards whatever it is that you want to do with the heart of a leoboutin.